When I'm Old

When I’m Old   (originally posted by us on Bubblews)

(Everyone should have the goal of living long enough to be a problem to succeeding generations.)

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna drive slowly in the passing lane.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna smell bad.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna be crotchety and grumpy and just plain irritable.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna tell young folk how easy they have it, compared to when I was growing up.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna go to fast food restaurants during the busy lunch hour, take forever to place my order, and loudly complain if I don’t get a senior discount.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna vote early, (and often), for those candidates who promise to give me the most free goodies.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna listen to out-of-fashion music at very loud volumes.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna wear my pants up around my waist.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna stroll around the neighborhood in short shorts, showing off my lumpy, varicose veined, partially haired legs.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna fart a lot.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna harass waitresses.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna take out my teeth in public.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna visit a doctor three times a week, (provided medicare is paying for all this, of course!).

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna complain about the weather.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna drink prune juice daily.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna say that sex was no big deal.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna snore in church.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna use a minimum of two parking spots when parking my car.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna wear ugly orthopedic shoes.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna scare little kids on Halloween.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna have terribly bad breath, and brown teeth.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna have ugly looking bruises that are actually faded tattoos.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna forget anything that didn’t happen at least 15 years ago.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna throw rocks at your cat.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna pee on myself.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna tell everyone that everything is just going to hell.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna lose my car keys, house keys, wallet, social security card, and senior discount cards.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna get lost going home at least once a week.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna forget to take my medications.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna forget who You are.

When I’m old ........ I’m gonna move in with YOU!  You’ll just have to deal with it.



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