There are no pics today, and if you keep reading you'll realize why.
First of all, since today was a Monday, Grump had to get up at an unGodly hour and drive halfway across the state to his job. Sweetie was up too, and prepared his breakfast and tea, and helped him pack. So after a quick kiss or two, Grump was on his way.
About an hour later he realized he had forgotten his tea. DRATS!!
But that was not the worst part of the morning.
One of the things about Grump's drive you need to realize is that after the first hour or so, he has a stretch of about 30 minutes when there is NO BATHROOM OF ANY SORT readily available. A few times he has had to poop after that first hour, and has arrived at the apartment in dire need of a toilet. A quick dash into Venerable Watson's apartment has always solved this dilemma, and so this morning, when the urges to "move his bowels" hit again, (and again, AND AGAIN), Grump wasn't too concerned, just irritated at the cramping that comes when you try to hold back a poop.
Only this time something different happened. Grump made it to the apartment parking lot, and turned off the car, but then before he could get out Nature proved stronger than his willpower, and ....... he pooped in his pants!
Yuck!
The story gets more, (maybe unnecessarily), graphic from here, so you may want to stop reading now if you don't want to get grossed out. For those who want to hang in there ......
Grump was wearing boxer shorts today, so when he tried to discretely walk into the apartment, the little turd tumbled down from his underwear into his pants leg. Yuck, yuck, yuck!!
To make a long, icky story short, Grump had to shed his boxers, take off his pants and clean off the poop marks as best he could, then wearing the same wet jeans go out to his car to get his suitcase from the trunk, so he could get a new pair of underwear. What a friggin' mess!
Hopefully this "pants pooping" won't become a habit, else Grump is going to have to wear a diaper for his morning commutes! He has already told his good friend The Green Angel that he is now officially an "old man", as he has pooped in his pants.
What's next? Senility? "Erectile disfunction"? A weird desire to become President of the United States?
May you all poop in peace!
No comments:
Post a Comment